Copping a Plea

Dear You,

Last year I broke the law. Well . . . in truth, I probably do that now and then, on I hope an irregular basis -- but who can tell? since there are so very many laws. And one can't be completely righteous, can one, without being a totally boring person? But I digress.

This law that I broke " counts" because I was arrested and fined. It was dark, I was driving up the hill that leads from Nunda to Mt. Morris (talk about out-of-the-way locations!), and the fellow ahead of me was realllllly poking along. So I pressed the pedal and went around him. When the lights lit up behind me, the deputy told me I was going faster than 80 mph. BEFORE the 55 mph zone had properly begun. Sigh.

After the formalities, he took particular note of my age and gray hair and explained that while I was no doubt safely buckled onto my seat, he was going to cite me for driving in violation of the seat-belt law. Not the speed. He and I both knew this would (a) save me money, and (b) avoid "points" against my license, which would (c) probably raise my car insurance bill. I thanked the young man and drove on. A week later I paid the $85 the court requested.

I write this because, among other laws I've violated since that night must be perjury. On the form the deputy gave me, I signed my name to a lie. And it makes me think -- not for the first time -- that our lives are governed by way too much chaos. It's never right/wrong or black/white. Threading my way through these Scyllas and Charybdes has never been easy.