Second-hand Emotions

Dear You,

I attended the wedding, even though I wasn't invited, and found myself at the reception (after the invited guests had finished their meals, of course) drinking a glass of water and eating cake. My wife's sister's daughter was the Maid of Honor . . . long story. Anyway, it was a hand-me-down invitation, I guess, so I didn't feel guilty about the cake.

The dancing had started only a little while earlier. The deejay paused his sound system to announce that the Father of the Bride had a few words . . .

"When your only child says she's getting married, I suppose everyone has many thoughts." So far, so good. "So, I went on the Internet . . ." Huh? What about the thoughts that 'everyone' might have . . . in this case, his? After that brief (original?) introduction, he took a paper from his pocket and began, "I wish for you this so you might know that / I hope you this so you might then that . . . blah-blah-blah." (You can, obviously, find the accurate full-text on the Internet.) By the time he was finishing with the dozen or so items on the print-out, he was choking back his tears.

Why is it that we depend on things outside ourselves in order to find words for our emotions? How did Hallmark cards become the ubiquitous deliverer of our joy at a birth, our sympathy for death, and everything in between? I notice the same lines spoken at wakes in my local funeral home as those spoken in the movies -- have we nothing original left to say?