Black and White

Dear You,

When I was much younger, I prided myself on my liberal outlook -- my tolerance of others and their differences. Yes, I grew up in a monoculture: small-town Ohio. And goodness knows my father had no use for "others" -- and that list was pretty long. I had absorbed my share of sexist and racist jokes.

But I had outgrown all that. I had gone to a university, and I lived in the "inner city" of Rochester, NY, where my neighborhood only years before had been the scene of race riots. I talked a very good game. Why, "some of my best friends were black"!

Pride goeth before a fall, it is said. And there came that evening when I was returning home with my then-wife M. We pulled to the curb (we had no off-street parking there) and as I was about to get out I saw three young, black men walking toward us. They were in the middle of the lamp-lit street, and I calculated instantly -- three young black men vs. an adult male and female, and at that hour no one to see. "Let's stay in the car for a minute," I said as I pushed down my doorlock.

Moments later the three youths were passing by our car. One of them turned toward us, hooked his thumbs into both sides of his mouth, stuck out his tongue and waggled his fingers in that same way I once did to make fun of my friends in Ohio. All three laughed and continued on their way. I burned with shame. Years later, as I write this, I still feel mortified.

In a book called "In Black and White" a writer with the NY Times (I have forgotten his name) tells of similar experiences he had when a college student in Chicago. At night he would hear car door locks thunking down and see frightened faces as he passed by. In a short while his shame turned to anger, and he began to adopt threatening poses when he could. He became what his racist neighbors assumed he was: a menace.

And I wonder -- looking back a quarter-century, now -- what did I do to add to our national climate of racism? And have I atoned for it since?

Fear

Dear You,

In a recent issue of the Atlantic, I read about the growing problem of online predators. The story began with an anecdote -- a girl standing at a bus stop with her luggage nearby was engaged by a stranger who seemed to know a lot about her. Turns out, he had read her luggage tag, so was able to seem like someone who knew her parents. The article went on to inform us that anyone can deduce an astonishing amount of information from what kids put on places like MySpace and blogs they create.

Fearmongering has some merit -- we must teach children to be wary in today's world. But my worry is that we are sapping the present generation of their courage in an effort to keep them safe. It does not escape my notice that the current occupant of the White House could never have been re-elected had he not campaigned on a platform of 9/11 and the "War on Terror." Someone (was it Benjamin Franklin?) once said that anyone who wants to be both safe and free can be neither.

So it was a delight the other morning when, on my morning walk, I witnessed two little girls zipping by me on a tiny motorized bike. They were blissfully happy and laughing, and -- amazingly -- did not have pounds of plastic padding and helmets between them and the out-of-doors they were inhabiting at the moment. They waved as they passed . . . innocent of the dangers their parents -- all of us these days! -- seem eager to protect them from. I hope they never lose their courage, their independence, their joy in pushing against the limits of their lives.